Sir Apropos of Nothing Series

Book 1

They were dark and stormy knights...and when they had their way with a helpless tavern wench one terrible evening, they had no idea that the result of that twilight brutality was going to come after them years later looking to settle the score...

The "result's" unlikely name is Apropos: A rogue, a rascal, a scoundrel, a cheat...and those are his good points. Lame of leg but fast of wit, the only reason Apropos doesn't consider chivalry dead is because he's not yet through with it. Herewith, Sir Apropos of Nothing -- his story in the words of the knave himself.

Apropos, all too aware of his violent and unseemly beginnings, travels to the court of the good King Runcible, with three goals in mind: to find his father, seek retribution, and line his own pockets. However, Apropos carries the most troublesome burden a would-be harbinger of chaos can bear: He may well be a hero foretold, a young man of destiny. It is not a notion that Apropos finds palatable, having very low regard for such notions as honor, selflessness, or risking one's neck. Yet when Apropos finds himself assigned as squire to the most senile knight in the court -- Sir Umbrage of the Flaming Nether Regions, whose squires tend to have a rather short life span -- Apropos is forced to rise to the occasion lest he be dragged under -- permanently.

His difficulties are compounded when a routine mission to escort the King's daughter home after a long absence goes horribly awry. Suddenly Apropos finds himself saddled with trying to survive while dealing with a berserk phoenix, murderous unicorns, mutated harpies, homicidal warrior kings, and -- most problematic of all -- a princess who may or may not be a psychoticarsonist.

Featuring a hero cut from cloth similar to that of such entertaining blackguards as Blackadder and Flashman, Sir Apropos of Nothing is a skewed version of classic, mythic adventure that is by turns hilarious and frightening, slapstick and serious, and filled with drop-dead laughs and drop-dead people.

Book 2

The Woad to Wuin

by Peter David

Published 19 August 2002

He's back. By (and in some cases, despite) popular demand, Sir Apropos of Nothing once again stalks the pages of literature, leaving unmistakable footprints wherever he treads. Apropos is the unlikely noble whose life began in the lowest of ways: as the result of a gang assault by a group of drunken knights on a helpless tavern wench. Last time out, Apropos attempted to seize control of his own fate, and ended up with, appropriately, nothing. Time has passed since he fled the kingdom of Runcible, and Apropos leads a quiet existence as a tavern owner. All that changes abruptly, however, when the sorceress Sharee re-enters his life with the forces of the warlike Lord Bellicose hard on her heels. They want something they're convinced she has stolen. She tells Apropos that it's not true. Thus the medieval era's most notorious antihero suddenly finds himself once again in the middle of events of which he wants no part. Apropos, a helpless cog in destiny's gear mechanism, is hauled into the middle of another unlikely adventure that finds him dying of thirst and exhaustion in the gods-forsaken desert known as the Tragic Waste. But death is far too simple a fate for Apropos.
When he awakens, he is astounded to discover that he is now a fearsome scourge of the land known as Wuin...a deadly and despised "peacelord" (the politically correct term for "warlord") with tens of thousands of troops at his command, cities filled with helpless people trembling before him, and an adoring and sexy consort. How he came to this, what he will do once he discovers the terrible price attached to his new station in life, and how the mystic gem called the Eye of the Beholder fits into all of it are just a few of the challenges our reluctant hero will encounter along the Woad to Wuin.

Book 3

Tong Lashing

by Peter David

Published 1 August 2003

He's back. Sir Apropos of Nothing, the best reviewed anti-hero in modern fantasy makes his triumphant return and gets a severe "Tong Lashing" for his troubles. Yes, the hero who reviewers have described as "Swiftian" -- Locus, "Schopenhauerian" -- Kirkus and "Cyclopian" -- Kirkus again -- and many other big words, has survived the events in his previous outing, The Woad to Wuin, events that would have killed a lesser man. Which is impressive considering it's hard to find a lesser man than Apropos: A con man, a knave, a scalawag...and those are his finer points. This time out, Apropos finds himself out to sea...literally. Yes, our rogue knight winds up adrift in hostile waters after a "friendly" game of chance with a wizard turns ludicrously deadly. But once again Death is thwarted (or perhaps it simply wants nothing to do with him) as Apropos winds up a stranger in a strange land. A land called "Chinpan," populated by people who speak a different language and live by a code of honor, neither of which Apropos can comprehend. And yet in Chinpan, Apropos slowly begins to examine his life and question whether he can aspire to true greatness.
To become more than the hard-bitten cynic he's always been. He may yet be able to find a happy ending among a gentle people who are willing to accept him, faults and all. And he acquires a teacher who may even be able to set him on a road to true enlightenment. But events conspire to pull Apropos in unexpected and dangerous directions. For his presence in Chinpan does not go unnoticed. What does the mysterious criminal organization known as the Forked Tong want with him? How do their plans tie in or conflict with the criminal Skang Kei family, and their enigmatic leader, Skang Kei Ho? What of the Mingol hordes? And what will be the fate of the Chin clan, including Double Chin, Cleft Chin, Kit Chin, and little Kit Chinette? By turns hilarious and tragic, Tong Lashing leaves no signature moment of adventure unpummeled. Mysterious shadow warriors, demented rulers, martial arts lessons, ritual suicide...all that fun stuff and much more in this, the latest (and last?) adventure of Sir Apropos of Nothing.

Book 4

Pyramid Schemes

by Peter David

Published 30 June 2016

He’s back. Despite absolutely no requests at all, Sir Apropos of Nothing—he who was spawned from the violent assault of a tavern wench by a group of drunken knights—has returned. This time his voyages take him to the land of Rogypt, a surprisingly ancient realm where the tragic people known as the Shews labor endlessly in building pyramids for their masters. When Apropos inadvertently interferes with he who is destined to be their savior, no less than a deity reaches down and points His fickle finger upon him, informing him it is now his responsibility to liberate the people. All that stands in his way? An unpredictable young ruler, his insanely duplicitous sister and, oh yes, an ancient mummy’s curse. So basically, just a typical day for the roguish Apropos.