Sucks
7 total works
Do they call menopause "the change" because...
- You have to change shirts three times a day-after you've sweat through them?
- You have to change addresses, just to avoid all that mail from the AARP?
- You have to change your diet to nothing but milk and broccoli just to get your RDA of calcium?
- Dealing with a rollercoaster of emotions
- Anecdotes, remedies, and gentle tips to help you cope with all the physical changes you're facing
- How to enjoy menopausal sex
These days, Christmas lights adorn front porches before the Thanksgiving turkey is even in the oven. Plane tickets to visit hardly-missed relatives cost more than the suitcase full of presents people have to lug across the country. And radios everywhere play songs about that fat guy in a red suit on an endless loop. Yes, it's official: Christmas Sucks. This title is a humorous look at America's commercialization of the Christmas holiday season and the terrible travel, inordinate amount of preparation, and family strife that accompanies it. You can commiserate with the fact that everyone drives themselves into debt buying gifts, no one enjoys seeing long-lost relatives, and everyone is creeped out by the department store Santa. With twelve days of Christmas, there's plenty of reasons why this is far from the most wonderful time of the year.
- Sleep on the couch to make room for her gigantic pregnancy pillow
- Pass up tickets to the game since you'd "rather" register for the baby shower
- Haven't had sex since there was snow on the ground (and it's July)
In this complete update of the bestselling first edition, Joanne and Jeff Kimes pair no-holds-barred humor with helpful advice to make sure you actually live to see the birth of your child.
So whether you're sick of putting your foot in your mouth when you're trying to compliment her, you want the real scoop on what's going to go down in the delivery room (without the hospital-issued video), or you really just want a laugh (since you "volunteered" to give up drinking for the interminable nine months of her pregnancy), this book will tell you exactly what to do when that miracle of yours is making you totally, completely, just-cut-the-freakin'-cord-already! miserable.
With the signature hilarity that has made the Sucks series a hit, Kimes and Laccinole tackle number one, number two, and all the accidents in between on the way to full-time underpants.
Are you suffering through your kid's potty training because...
-Your toddler has peed on your in-laws' carpet again?
-Your best friend's kid is already trained (even though he's two months younger than yours)?
-You're not allowed back at the community pool until your wee one is old enough to drive?
If you have children, you're going to have to potty train them. At least there's a glimmer of hope. Amidst all the headaches (and heartaches), Potty Training Sucks is the only book that feels your pain. Veteran potty trainers Joanne Kimes and Kathleen Laccinole cover: potty training doo-doos and don'ts; handling accidents; the respective troubles of training boys and girls; and how to maintain your sanity through it all.
Are you suffering through your kid's potty training because...
-Your toddler has peed on your in-laws' carpet again?
-Your best friend's kid is already trained (even though he's two months younger than yours)?
-You're not allowed back at the community pool until your wee one is old enough to drive?
If you have children, you're going to have to potty train them. At least there's a glimmer of hope. Amidst all the headaches (and heartaches), Potty Training Sucks is the only book that feels your pain. Veteran potty trainers Joanne Kimes and Kathleen Laccinole cover: potty training doo-doos and don'ts; handling accidents; the respective troubles of training boys and girls; and how to maintain your sanity through it all.
- That "glowing skin" everyone promised you looks remarkably similar to the hormonal acne you battled as a teen
- Your special bond with your husband? It means he can't sleep in the same room as you, thanks to your killer gas
- The lady at the grocery store remarks "it must be any day now!" when you haven't finished your second trimester
- You debut the perfect name for your babywhich your mother-in-law immediately describes as "interesting" (complete with a wrinkled nose)
So whether you're looking for the scoop on hypnobirthing, you want to know a cure for your hemorrhoids, or you really just want a laugh (even if you might pee in your maternity leggings), this book will tell you exactly what to do when that miracle of yours is making you totally, completely, gestationally miserable.
You know breastfeeding sucks when...
Your breast pump starts to resemble a medieval torture device
Your latest scent is eau de' cabbage leaves
Your breasts rival Old Faithful as a must-see attraction
If you need to latch on to something with your free hand while your little miracle is latched on to you, then Breastfeeding Sucks is the book for you. Inside, Joanne Kimes covers:How to prepare for breastfeeding before the birthPhysical and emotional challenges that face both you and your little leech er, infantNursing in public and pumping at the office without feeling like a freak-show attractionWeaning that little tot before his eighth birthday In the hilarious, real-mom style that made Pregnancy Sucks a hit, Kimes lays it all out. She gives as much mitigating advice as she can muster to reduce the nipple pain, engorgement, fatique, and frustration that come with breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding Sucks is the only book you need on the long road to sippy cups.
Your breast pump starts to resemble a medieval torture device
Your latest scent is eau de' cabbage leaves
Your breasts rival Old Faithful as a must-see attraction
If you need to latch on to something with your free hand while your little miracle is latched on to you, then Breastfeeding Sucks is the book for you. Inside, Joanne Kimes covers:How to prepare for breastfeeding before the birthPhysical and emotional challenges that face both you and your little leech er, infantNursing in public and pumping at the office without feeling like a freak-show attractionWeaning that little tot before his eighth birthday In the hilarious, real-mom style that made Pregnancy Sucks a hit, Kimes lays it all out. She gives as much mitigating advice as she can muster to reduce the nipple pain, engorgement, fatique, and frustration that come with breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding Sucks is the only book you need on the long road to sippy cups.
