Lovejoy
1 primary work • 24 total works
Book 21
Lovejoy in America... and in trouble again
Lovejoy is working - illegally of course - in a New York bar, but nothing can keep him from his beloved antiques. The divvie's casual recognition of zircons paraded as priceless diamonds starts him on a trail leading him to the deadly mysteries of the highest stakes card game in America.
But first Lovejoy has to buy himself into the game. Enlisting the help of a Manhatten hooker and a gun-toting seven year old, he sets about raising a sum from museums, auction houses and private collectors using his usual desperate wiles.
But by the time he reaches California, he realises that it is not only his hard-earnt mega-bucks on the table, but his own sweet skin.
Praise for Jonathan Gash:
'Irrepressible... bounteous entertainment' Sunday Times
'Lovejoy is up to his old tricks again... compelling stuff' Today
'Unabashedly amoral, witty and crammed with treasures of every sort... Pure, unadulterated Lovejoy' Publishers Weekly
Lovejoy has heard of more nutters who have claimed to be in possession of the one, true Holy Grail than he has had hot dinners. He's not too impressed with the eccentric clergyman making the latest claim - especially when the good vicar turns out to be one of the finest forgers Lovejoy has ever met.
But when the vicar and his lady companion end up dead it becomes clear that someone else is after the old man's artefact. To solve the mystery and protect a precious piece of history, Lovejoy puts his life on the line and acquires a surprising new partner...
Lovejoy has a new apprentice - the lovely, scatty and seriously rich Mrs Luna Carstairs. For Luna, Lovejoy is more than willing to give of his expertise in antiques, auctions and other, more intimate subjects.
But just as things look to be getting rosy, a series of murders occur and the supply of antiques dries up. Behind it all lurks the threatening shadow of Miss R - a 'dollop broker', or harbourer of stolen booty - an evil genius who deals only with women.
Trailing behind him an abandoned mistress and an assortment of police officers, Lovejoy must keep one step ahead of the law as he puzzles out the intricacies of his most complicated and potentially fatal case so far.
Praise for Jonathan Gash:
'Irrepressible... bounteous entertainment' Sunday Times
'Lovejoy is up to his old tricks again... compelling stuff' Today
'Unabashedly amoral, witty and crammed with treasures of every sort... Pure, unadulterated Lovejoy' Publishers Weekly
When Lovejoy witnesses a car crash that turns out to be a murder - with one of his oldest antique-dealer friends the victim - he sets out on a trail of revenge that leaves him pondering several bewildering questions.
Why did his friend buy up a load of junk furniture? What did he want with an old doctor's bag? Why was his friend killed? Who was trying to kill Lovejoy and - most perplexing of all - what the hell is he doing potholing through underground tunnels dodging armed hit men?
When times are slow in the antiques trade, divvies have to make ends meet in unusual ways. Such is Lovejoy's fate driving for Gazza Gaunt's disreputable assignation service. But when one of his customers, the beautiful Fiona, discovers his eye for the genuine article, he finds himself the toast of a rich set whose vices and interest in danger extend way beyond a casual tryst in the back of Lovejoy's van.
Advising the rich on valuables is never easy, but when he discovers that this set's previous advisors have ended up in a hospital, or worse, Lovejoy decides to flee with horse-mad Almira to France. Little does he realise that Almira is part of the plot, and that France is the centre of the biggest antiques scam in history.
Praise for Jonathan Gash:
'Irrepressible... bounteous entertainment' Sunday Times
'Lovejoy is up to his old tricks again... compelling stuff' Today
'Unabashedly amoral, witty and crammed with treasures of every sort... Pure, unadulterated Lovejoy' Publishers Weekly
In the world of antiques there is one great remaining scam. The very last gambado. Robbing the British Museum.
Of course, the murder, mayhem and double crossing is only going to happen in a film. Or is it? After all, Lovejoy has been employed on the set as antiques advisor.
Praise for Jonathan Gash:
'Irrepressible... bounteous entertainment' Sunday Times
'Lovejoy is up to his old tricks again... compelling stuff' Today
'Unabashedly amoral, witty and crammed with treasures of every sort... Pure, unadulterated Lovejoy' Publishers Weekly
I don't much like working for clients. It means that I have to follow someone else's instructions, and I've never been too good at that. When those instructions came from a spirit guide at a seance, I just had to laugh. Well, you would, wouldn't you?
The rather attractive young woman whose husband the spook had said I should help her to fine took me on a quest that turned into a trail of lucrative antiques deals, spoiled only when the police came plodding in and I found myself up to my neck in forgeries and murders. Situation normal, really.
Then the killer turned his attentions to me, just as the spirit had said he would, and I certainly wasn't laughing an more.
Throw in the infamous Berkley horse flagellation frame, enough fake prehistoric to construct a respectable Neanderthal family and you have a irresistable romp through the magical world of antiques with the most roguish dealer of them all.
I like to think that, when feeling my way carefully through the rituals of passion, the lady in question has pretty much my full attention and very few things will distract me from the job in hand. A murder just outside is one of them . . .
The victim, and two other antiques dealers who also came to a sticky end, were all working the same Scottish connection that I had been cultivation, so I decided to make myself scarce for a while.
Where better to hide than at the root of the problem in the wilds of Scotland? There may be nothing very Scottish about me but, when my life's on the line, I can blend into the Highlands like a haggis in the heather.
It was also the best place to find out why the antiques trade down south had become such a dangerous business.
You know things are going badly when you've been stabbed, hospitalized and arrested for a crime that, not only did you not commit, you actively attempted to prevent.
Top that off with a pending appearance in court before a judge whose wife you know rather better than he does, and you start to think that visiting an ancient Irish tomb with a gang of ruthless villains sounds like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. All you have to do is to make sure that you don't end up joining the ancient Irish tomb's ancient Irish inhabitants.
Nothing's ever that simple, though, is it? Not in my world, anyway. Women have a tendency to confuse matters and when you're dealing with a deranged scarecrow poet and an eastern European hit man whom you know for a fact has never been further east than Billericay in his entire life, things are confusing enough, don't you think?
Lovejoy doesn't mind making an occasional fake... But the wholesale theft of national treasures is not something he can go along with. So when 'moonspenders' - antiques poachers with hi-tech electronic metal detectors - start digging up the ancient buried treasures of his native East Anglia, it's time for Lovejoy to take a stand.
As usual, there are some surprising complications, including a local gangster who insists that Lovejoy appear on a TV game show, a few suspicious deaths, a wedding, some local witches, and several women who can't resist Lovejoy's charms. But then, who can?
Praise for Jonathan Gash:
'Irrepressible... bounteous entertainment' Sunday Times
'Lovejoy is up to his old tricks again... compelling stuff' Today
'Unabashedly amoral, witty and crammed with treasures of every sort... Pure, unadulterated Lovejoy' Publishers Weekly
Lovejoy discovers how the lure of gold brings out the worst kind of treasure seeker when, broke as usual and earning a crust as an unlikely babysitter, he stumbles across the diaries of a painter that appear to point to the whereabouts of a fabled hoard of Roman gold coins.
Lovejoy is tempted to dismiss the whole thing as a hoax, but vile threats and violent intimidation have a way of changing his mind. He sets out to unravel the clues in the diaries, with some particularly nasty characters dogging his every move.
I always think that a genuine friend is like a genuine antique - you'd go a long way to find one and you'd do anything to stop one getting broken. When an Italian gentleman made me an offer I couldn't refuse, stopping my friends from getting broken meant stealing a very valuable antique.
'Somebody else has got my antique and I want it back,' was how he put it.
'Who has it?' I asked.
Without a flicker of a smile he replied, 'The Pope.'
If you think of the Vatican as a big church where the Pope lives, then think again. It is a complete walled city with its own shops, its own bank and its own armed security in the shape of the ridiculously costumed Swiss Guards. Look a bit daft, don't they? But they're well trained and well armed young men. Well, if stealing antiques from the Pope was easy, everybody would be doing it, wouldn't they?
The Judas Pair
Every antique dealer is a bit of a detective, following clues to find the trophies that pay the rent, but when Lovejoy takes on the job of tracking down a pair of duelling pistols so rare that he's not even sure actually exist, he needs all the instincts of a detective to pick his way through an unsolved crime.
Along the way, he becomes convinced that the weapons do exist but that they have fallen into the hands of a vile murderer. Locating the ancient weapons seems like the least of his problems when Lovejoy then finds himself fighting for his life in a duel to the death!
Gold From Gemini
Lovejoy discovers how the lure of gold brings out the worst kind of treasure seeker when, broke as usual and earning a crust as an unlikely babysitter, he stumbles across the diaries of a painter that appear to point to the whereabouts of a fabled hoard of Roman gold coins.
Lovejoy is tempted to dismiss the whole thing as a hoax, but vile threats and violent intimidation have a way of changing his mind. He sets out to unravel the clues in the diaries, with some particularly nasty characters dogging his every move.
The Grail Tree
Lovejoy has heard of more nutters who have claimed to be in possession of the one, true Holy Grail than he has had hot dinners. He's not too impressed with the eccentric clergyman making the latest claim - especially when the good vicar turns out to be one of the finest forgers Lovejoy has ever met.
But when the vicar and his lady companion end up dead it becomes clear that someone else is after the old man's artefact. To solve the mystery and protect a precious piece of history, Lovejoy puts his life on the line and acquires a surprising new partner...
Spend Game
When Lovejoy witnesses a car crash that turns out to be a murder - with one of his oldest antique-dealer friends the victim - he sets out on a trail of revenge that leaves him pondering several bewildering questions.
Why did his friend buy up a load of junk furniture? What did he want with an old doctor's bag? Why was his friend killed? Who was trying to kill Lovejoy and - most perplexing of all - what the hell is he doing potholing through underground tunnels dodging armed hit men?