Classic Rugby Clangers

by David Mortimer

Published 17 June 2003

This hilarious collection of stories taken from over 130 years of rugby history recounts some of the moments their perpetrators would rather forget. A relentlessly high-speed game, rugby is particularly prone to crucial split-second tests of human fallability and eccentricity, and for every player snatching victory at the last gasp there is somebody whose overconfidence or moment of self-doubt leaves the spectator clutching his head in disbelief.


Classic Showbiz Clangers

by David Mortimer

Published 27 April 2006

Showbiz might not be the second oldest profession, but it's not far off.

Ever since Nero fiddled while Rome burned and Salome demanded so outrageous a fee for dropping her veils that she ended up with the worst notice in history, the human instinct to get up and perform has produced a pleasing mountain of ill-timed gaffes.

'Classic Showbiz Clangers' collects some of the more engaging – or notorious – examples from the 20th and 21st centuries, ranging from Hugh Grant's ill-advised encounter with the divine Divine Brown in a white BMW to the over-eager radio announcer who invited his listeners to 'stay stewed for the nudes' as a news-flash beckoned.

David Mortimer's hilarious look at stage, screen, variety, panto and more will lead you to discover how the great Edmund Kean single-handedly wrecked a performance of 'Macbeth' and what cured Winona Ryder of shopping, not to mention Bob Monkhouse's unique method of sorting out a heckler. And if that seems a little tame, what was it that Angus Deayton was able to teach Caroline Martin that she didn't already know? Read on and find out!


Classic Political Clangers

by David Mortimer

Published 27 April 2006

In this riotously entertaining collection of true stories from Westminster and beyond are tales of such political ineptitude, scandal, blunder and impropriety to make even the most gaffe-prone minister blush.

 

Covering the most notorious political events of the 20th and 21st centuries, 'Classic Political Clangers' shines the spotlight on the Profumo-Christine Keller affair; David Mellor and the Last Chance Saloon debacle of the 1990s; Ted Heath vs. the miners in 1974; the Winter of Discontent; Margaret Thatcher's fall from grace; Harold Wilson and the Pound in Your Pocket fiasco of 1967; and of course Neville Chamberlain and his peace in our time speech in 1938. And of course the more recent tale of President Bush's 'embarrassing leak' that made the front page of 'The Times'.

 

From assassination attempts to public brawls, calumny, smear, innuendo and infidelity, David Mortimer's book proves that Britain has a pre-eminent claim to the title of the world's leading political asylum.


Classic Football Clangers

by David Mortimer

Published 24 September 2004
This entertaining collection of true stories taken from over a century of football history recounts some of the embarrassing moments that inevitably occur in a team game played at the speed of football. For every Ole Gunnar Solskjaer snatching last-minute glory there is somebody whose split-second carelessness, overconfidence or self-doubt leaves spectators ready to tear up their season tickets. It might be England goalkeeper Frank Swift busy arranging his flat cap when the ball joined him in the net after seven seconds, Dennis Wise being red-carded within four minutes of sending himself on for Millwall as a substitute, David 'Safe Hands' Seaman's little difficulties with high floating balls, or referee Reg Leafe becoming a legend in Barcelona in 1960 when he disallowed four of Real Madrid's five goals. Fatty Foulke, Eusebio, Gazza, David Ginola, Gary Lineker, Eric Cantona, Claudio 'Tinkerman' Ranieri and Becks all make an appearance for playing a part in at least one red-faced moment, and we haven't even started on Big Ron Atkinson's various assaults on the English language.

Classic Cricket Clangers

by David Mortimer

Published 29 June 2003

Drawn from over a century of cricket history, this entertaining collection of red-faced moments that players would prefer to forget will delight cricket lovers everywhere. Clearly, for every cricketer snatching victory from defeat, there is someone whose over-confidence or moment of self-doubt leaves spectators wide-eyed in disbelief.


Classic Golf Clangers

by David Mortimer

Published 24 September 2004
This hilarious collection of red-faced moments that players would prefer to forget will delight all fans of the ancient game. For every unexpected victory carved from adversity by Paul McGinley or Ben Curtis, there is a moment when a player’s overconfidence or self-doubt leaves spectators burying their heads in the nearest bunker in sheer disbelief.