J.W. Wells & Co.

7 total works

Life, Liberty And The Pursuit Of Sausages

by Tom Holt

Published 21 February 2011

'Anything can happen... You turn the pages wondering, 'Whatever next?''' - SFX

Polly, an average, completely ordinary property lawyer, is convinced she's losing her mind. Someone keeps drinking her coffee. And talking to her clients. And doing her job. And when she goes to the dry cleaner's to pick up...

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'Anything can happen... You turn the pages wondering, 'Whatever next?''' - SFX

Polly, an average, completely ordinary property lawyer, is convinced she's losing her mind. Someone keeps drinking her coffee. And talking to her clients. And doing her job. And when she goes to the dry cleaner's to pick up her dress for the party, it's not there. Not the dress - the dry cleaner's.

And then there are the chickens who think they are people. Something strange is definitely going on - and it's going to take more than a magical ring to sort it out.

A wonderfully quirky and comedic outing from the hugely talented Tom Holt

Books by Tom Holt:

Walled Orchard Series
Goatsong
The Walled Orchard

J.W. Wells & Co. Series
The Portable Door
In Your Dreams
Earth, Air, Fire and Custard
You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps
The Better Mousetrap
May Contain Traces of Magic
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages

YouSpace Series
Doughnut
When It's A Jar
The Outsorcerer's Apprentice
The Good, the Bad and the Smug

Novels
Expecting Someone Taller
Who's Afraid of Beowulf
Flying Dutch
Ye Gods!
Overtime
Here Comes the Sun
Grailblazers
Faust Among Equals
Odds and Gods
Djinn Rummy
My Hero
Paint your Dragon
Open Sesame
Wish you Were Here
Alexander at World's End
Only Human
Snow White and the Seven Samurai
Olympiad
Valhalla
Nothing But Blue Skies
Falling Sideways
Little People
Song for Nero
Meadowland
Barking
Blonde Bombshell
The Management Style of the Supreme Beings
An Orc on the Wild Side

In Your Dreams

by Tom Holt

Published 3 June 2004

'A definite must for all fans of comic fantasy' - ENIGMA

'Wacky humour bubbles through the polished narrative ... Holt doesn't skimp on the flashes of brilliance' - SFX

Ever been offered a promotion that seems too good to be true? You know - the sort they'd be insane to be...

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'A definite must for all fans of comic fantasy' - ENIGMA

'Wacky humour bubbles through the polished narrative ... Holt doesn't skimp on the flashes of brilliance' - SFX

Ever been offered a promotion that seems too good to be true? You know - the sort they'd be insane to be offering to someone like you. The kind where you snap their arm off to accept, then wonder why all your long-serving colleagues look secretly relieved, as if they're off some strange and unpleasant hook ...

It's the kind of trick that deeply sinister companies like J.W. Wells & Co. pull all the time. Especially with employees who are too busy mooning over the office intern to think about what they're getting into.

And it's why, right about now, Paul Carpenter is wishing he'd paid much less attention to the gorgeous Melze, and rather more to a little bit of job description small-print referring to 'pest' control ...

Books by Tom Holt:

Walled Orchard Series
Goatsong
The Walled Orchard

J.W. Wells & Co. Series
The Portable Door
In Your Dreams
Earth, Air, Fire and Custard
You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps
The Better Mousetrap
May Contain Traces of Magic
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages

YouSpace Series
Doughnut
When It's A Jar
The Outsorcerer's Apprentice
The Good, the Bad and the Smug

Novels
Expecting Someone Taller
Who's Afraid of Beowulf
Flying Dutch
Ye Gods!
Overtime
Here Comes the Sun
Grailblazers
Faust Among Equals
Odds and Gods
Djinn Rummy
My Hero
Paint your Dragon
Open Sesame
Wish you Were Here
Alexander at World's End
Only Human
Snow White and the Seven Samurai
Olympiad
Valhalla
Nothing But Blue Skies
Falling Sideways
Little People
Song for Nero
Meadowland
Barking
Blonde Bombshell
The Management Style of the Supreme Beings
An Orc on the Wild Side

The Portable Door

by Tom Holt

Published 6 March 2003

Starting a new job is always stressful (particularly when you don't particularly want one), but when Paul Carpenter arrives at the office of J.W. Wells he has no idea what trouble lies in store. Because he is about to discover that the apparently respectable establishment now paying his salary...Read more

Starting a new job is always stressful (particularly when you don't particularly want one), but when Paul Carpenter arrives at the office of J.W. Wells he has no idea what trouble lies in store. Because he is about to discover that the apparently respectable establishment now paying his salary is in fact a front for a deeply sinister organisation that has a mighty peculiar agenda. It seems that half the time his bosses are away with the fairies. But they're not, of course. They're away with the goblins. Mister Tom Holt, Master of the Comic Fantasy Novel, cordially invites you to join him in his world of madness by reading his next hilarious masterpiece. Dress: informal. RSVP to Orbit Books. Bring a bottle.

May Contain Traces of Magic

by Tom Holt

Published 7 May 2009

There are all kinds of products. The good ones. The bad ones. The ones that stay in the garage mouldering for years until your garden gnome makes a home out of them. Most are harmless if handled properly, even if they do contain traces of peanuts. But some are...Read more

There are all kinds of products. The good ones. The bad ones. The ones that stay in the garage mouldering for years until your garden gnome makes a home out of them. Most are harmless if handled properly, even if they do contain traces of peanuts. But some are not. Not the ones that contain traces of magic. Chris Popham wasn't paying enough attention when he talked to his SatNav. Sure, she gave him directions, never backtalked him, and always led him to his next spot on the map with perfect accuracy. She was the best thing in his life. So was it really his fault that he didn't start paying attention when she talked to him? In his defence, that was her job. But when 'Take the next right' turned into 'Excuse me,' that was when the real trouble started. Because sometimes a SatNav isn't a SatNav. Sometimes it's an imprisoned soul trapped inside a metal box that will do anything it can to get free. And some products you just can't return.

You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps

by Tom Holt

Published 2 February 2006

Colin Hollinghead is a young man going nowhere fast. Working for his dad might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but starting at the bottom in the widget-making industry has somehow lost its appeal. And now the business is in trouble. At least his father has...Read more

Colin Hollinghead is a young man going nowhere fast. Working for his dad might have seemed like a good idea at the time, but starting at the bottom in the widget-making industry has somehow lost its appeal. And now the business is in trouble. At least his father has a plan to turn things round - a new work force that will improve profit margins and secure the company's future for eternity. The deal looks great on paper, but they do say that the devil is in the detail - and the old rogue certainly seems to be involved in some capacity. Colin needs help. Perhaps his new friend from J.W. Wells & Co. (Practical and Effective Magicians, Sorcerers and Supernatural Consultants) can help. Sparkling with wit and oozing charm, Tom Holt's new comic caper will delight his readers and prove once and for all that going to work can actually be hell.

Earth, Air, Fire and Custard

by Tom Holt

Published 3 February 2005

J. W. Wells seems a respectable establishment, but the company now paying Paul Carpenter's salary is in fact a deeply sinister organisation with a mighty peculiar agenda. Since he graduated from office junior to clerk, he has wrestled with goblins, travelled hundreds of miles in the blink of an...Read more

J. W. Wells seems a respectable establishment, but the company now paying Paul Carpenter's salary is in fact a deeply sinister organisation with a mighty peculiar agenda. Since he graduated from office junior to clerk, he has wrestled with goblins, travelled hundreds of miles in the blink of an eye and spent hours doing dangerous office admin. He thought he was getting the hang of it, but a fate worse than death and filing awaits. There is always a bright side. Paul just has to find it ...Look out for more information about this book and others at www orbitbooks.co.uk

The Better Mousetrap

by Tom Holt

Published 1 May 2008

It touches all our lives; our triumphs and tragedies, our proudest achievements, our most traumatic disasters. Alloyed of love and fear, death and fire and the inscrutable acts of the gods, insurance is indeed the force that binds the universe together. Hardly surprising, therefore, that Frank Carpenter, one of...Read more

It touches all our lives; our triumphs and tragedies, our proudest achievements, our most traumatic disasters. Alloyed of love and fear, death and fire and the inscrutable acts of the gods, insurance is indeed the force that binds the universe together. Hardly surprising, therefore, that Frank Carpenter, one of the foremost magical practitioners of our age, felt himself irresistibly drawn to it. Until, that is, he met Emily, a high-flying corporate heroine with an annoying habit of falling out of trees and getting killed. Repeatedly. It's not long before Frank and Jane find themselves face to face with the greatest enigma of our times: When is a door not a door? When it's a mousetrap.