Jordon
Written on Feb 6, 2014
Don't get me wrong I like the premise of the story. It's interesting and entertaining. Only thing is the story is executed poorly and I definitely feel like this is the second or third draft I'm reading, not the finished story. The story lacks depth, there are quite a few spelling and grammar errors, the characters are shallow and the reveal at the end of this novella would have packed more punch had we met or known the character a lot more beforehand. I felt nothing when the reveal happened. Well actually I lie, I did feel something, I cringed and rolled my eyes and thought 'How cliche, I really don't care'.
I feel like this story has potential but that it's not there yet. I'm a little annoyed I paid to read this because it feels unfinished :/ So much potential though!