llamareads
Written on Jun 15, 2020
Historical lesbian romance with horses? Heck yes! Unfortunately, this didn’t quite live up to my expectations.
“I might not have fought at the front, but the war wasn’t without some danger. There have been some…effects on me. One of which is my lack of manners. The old Lady Eleanor, before the war, was polite and restrained. Now, I find I have no patience for it.”
After the end of the first World War, Nell, who had worked as a veterinarian, is charged with returning her captain’s warhorse to his farm in Wales. Nell is suffering from shell shock and a loss of self – she’s reluctant to go home as she knows she’ll have to resume her role of “Lady Eleanor” rather than simply be Nell. Beatrice, the captain’s daughter, has her own problems. She’s lived with her father’s rages all her life, and after the death of three of her brothers in the war, her mother has completely shut down, leaving Beatrice to mother her four younger siblings and run the farm. Despite that, she still manages to be kind, something Nell struggles with. To be frank, Nell is absolutely awful to Beatrice, from initially thinking she’s the family’s maid to constant thoughtless remarks, even during pillowtalk, that hurt Beatrice deeply. To fit in with the Army Veterinary Corps, Nell had to become this angry, nearly perfect person in order to be accepted as “one of the men,” and she’s not sure how to shed that persona.
“My existence is already dictated by one person. I’m not simply going to swap my allegiances to you because of a few kisses.”
A major problem with the book for me was that it was very depressing. I thought I was prepared for it, given that I knew it would be dealing with the after effects of the war, but on top of that there was also the Captain’s horrible treatment of his family, and to compound that, an additional death (with a bit of a murder investigation subplot.) Bad things just keep happening to Beatrice – she never has more than a moment to contemplate how she feels for Nell before she has another crisis to deal with or something thoughtless pops out of Nell’s mouth. Because of all this, I had problems accepting the HEA. Nell latches onto Beatrice and quickly falls in love with her, but Beatrice is more reticent. Her father discouraged her from having friends, and her only experience with a lover was a woman who left her without a second thought. In the end, Beatrice is just so lonely and desperate for love that I wonder if Nell is just a convenient savior for her. There’s definitely a sort of Cinderella feel to the relationship.
“You know me—scars and all—and you balance out all my sharp edges.’
Beatrice’s mouth quirked up on one side. ‘Balance? No, what I want to be is your whetstone. I want to sharpen your edges even more and watch you help people like me be seen.”
There were some beautiful moments where I felt like Nell and Beatrice really communicated, but I felt like they came too late in the book to really establish their relationship. As for other things I liked, I also thought the exploration of class and privilege was fascinating, especially as how it affected Nell and Beatrice’s relationship. Nell is deeply aware of how prejudiced the world is against her as a woman, but she forgets that her class (and her relation to a duke) give her a leg up, as well. Watching her come to terms with that, with Beatrice’s help, was one of my favorite parts of the book.
Overall, this was probably a 2.5 star read for me, rounded up to 3. The overall depressing nature of the book, coupled with the couple’s relationship issues, didn’t work for me.
I received an advance review copy of this book from NetGalley. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.