layawaydragon
Written on Mar 3, 2015
Remember how mothers always seem to scold us with if you don’t have anything nice to say, then say nothing at all? Well, for those of you who hold to that ideal, stop reading now.
Briefly: The opening scene is suppose to be this heart breaking scene, which I was actually into, and then the last line gives away any question, mystery or suspense of why The Party is hunting Charlotte. It takes 90 pages to get to that point in time again. During those 90 pages, I learned to hate everything and it just kept getting worse. And yes, I do mean I hate everything about The Undesirable. The world building is faulty, the plot is full of holes, I wanted Charlotte to get shot, and I found the romance insta-love to be terrible and uncompelling. There’s an abundance of slut shaming, and flat stereotypical characters. It’s like a bundle of all the latest obvious tropes wrapped up in one very boring, unsurprising book.
This is going to be a long one with in-depth detail behind spoilers, as a means to cover my ass and explain. And there’s 5 pages of it so it won’t all fit in a Goodreads review. I’m working on getting it all posted to my blog, but in the meantime here’s the slimmed down version.
Worldbuilding: Plain, Boring & Stupid.
The world is built in general sweeping terms by Charlotte who claims to not remember when the world was better or not living in a society not dominated by The Party. There isn’t any build up for the setting leaving it hard to be compelled. The backstory is just told to us, not shown so I found Charlotte's complaining to come off was wangst. Yeah, its the whole world gone to shit because we’re dependant on oil but you want me to feel the desperation, pain and injustice right?. I don’t like being told, I like being shown. Being told by fucking Charlotte about the random people being mistreated or murdered doesn’t do it. She doesn’t even feel it either. It’s like “I felt my heart speed up”. Yeah...not doing it for me.
Oh, if you don’t get the similarities just based on the setting description, never fear! There will be a big giant flag positioned and remarked on several times in a vague “This unsettles me” way by Charlotte. If you still don’t get it, she’ll straight out say how it’s like Nazi Germany. A school chum will play dumb and be like “Oh, nu-huh!”. Pfffffft. The Party hasn’t been in control long enough to erase and alter history to brainwash the next generation.
Remember this line from the blurb? ”Charlotte Walker knows how to live under the rule of The Party. She has managed for 18 years.
That’s a motherfucking lie. There’s no way around it. It says The Party started this bullshit, not the President. Even if the last US President was killed when she was 10, that’s still only 8 years! That’s being charitable, and ignoring how Charlotte talks vaguely about it getting worse for several years before the hostile takeover. And it’s not just whoever wrote the blurbs fault. Charlotte acts like it and doesn’t remember shit from before.
Ruled by Hitler Maxwell Cooper, who is keen on destroying Undesirables rather than a specific race. Undesirables are classed as the mentally ill, those unable to work, those who don’t fall submit so readily and easily. Obviously, this is hard to control for since the majority of the population aren’t right wing authoritarians and there isn’t the base beginning that Hitler had (which was important to his horrible success) so Maxwell is having trouble keeping people under the boot.
Plus there’s the terribly stupid ideas of Maxwell’s put into place like hatred and culling of children who can’t work. Hitler knew “the children were the future” so if Maxwell is trying to repeat history he’s doing a piss poor job of it. All it takes is one beautiful whiney dependant woman to be held up by The Resistance to take him down.
Bonus: Briefly when she gets out of The Party’s control on pg. 103,
“Cooper, it turns out, does not hold on to his power very well. They show me articles, video, and photos of the struggle inside The Party. He may be the Supreme Leader but he has supreme challengers. “Well, no shit Sherlock.
Now, everything here could just be intelligence collect by The Resistance...except articles are found in newspapers, magazines, and, you guessed it, online. Usually for intelligence being collected it’s a report or document, I’ve never heard it called an article unless it’s a published piece of work written by someone else.
Considering they aren’t in some city, I doubt it is newspapers though they may have made a resurgence in this world. Of course, most importantly, there’s no mention if the internet is down for everyone! The internet is a huge network interconnect between countries. It would take a lot to even take it down in the U.S. (though I can’t say impossible in Charlotte’s world) but around the world? In Canada, now mortal enemy of totalitarian U.S., safe haven for The Resistance and described as free democracy paradise?
No fucking way they lost internet. I smelled bullshit while reading and oh, look! Relevant articles: Can the Internet be shut down in Canada? and Could it happen to your Country? This took all of 2 seconds of googling and both of those were published before this book was.
Another thing left out, ignored and hand waved away when it could have been used to actually fucking show something, like the bigger picture and clue us readers in. It could have been a sad, moving moment when Charlotte sees the information and the internet for the first time, to realize the depth of deception perpetrated. Not to mention shock and awe from seeing the internet, seeing other people out there with the truth and fighting, could have portrayed a moment of feeling community with the wide world. Then it could have turned to righteous anger where she grows a backbone, resolved to fight for freedom. ANYTHING besides being told in two sentences with bland facts like it’s some science report. (Don’t get me wrong, science reports are good but they are written in a very different style than novels.) Serious fucking fail here.
The Swiss Cheese Plot:
It was exceedingly obvious to me exactly where it was all going way before it happened. I was actively bored throughout reading. I didn’t want to finish The Undesirable. I can finish a book twice this length in one day without any problems but for The Undesirable I really struggled. I put it down and couldn’t force myself to finish it for several days. I really should’ve fucking stopped.
Say, for instance, the evil totalitarian government in the future is tracking all of its citizens. Now, this means if you have that kind of government monitoring in a book, it has to be dealt with when your characters are trying to overthrow the regime. This is the foundation of dystopias, FFS. It can’t just be dealt with twice and ignored every. single. other. time. Every time it’s ignored means the government knows about the character’s doings and whereabouts.
No, instead I’m suppose to believe the big, bad Party can’t get it together to use the very technology they put in place for this sort of thing and are just running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off for no good reason. There’s nothing I can find in The Undesirable that accounts for this oversight and believe me I looked hard for any little thing. Is it possible there’s a reason like The Resistance messing with the technology? Yes, but there’s no reason to believe they would mess with Fostino’s because he was left behind and that would be suspicious. I mean come on like The Party isn’t going to realize “Oh, hey we can’t track one of our soldiers and he’s on duty...Hmmmm...let’s go find him and figure out what he’s done.” That’s a HUGE plot hole considering what goes down.
I can’t even count how many times the tracking devices are just forgotten … wait...*counts on fingers* By my count there’s at least 6 times. The Party would know Fastino was sneaking off to be with Charlotte - when, where and how long. They would know where Fostino hid out for three days on the run. They would know the exact path and timing of their escape. They would know where to start looking for the SSR. And this big, monstrous, all-knowing, all-powerful Party did nothing?!? I kept thinking OMG, come on. Where’s The Party? They know the rebels are there so why don’t they GET the rebels now? Just go in there and shoot the rebels already! Fuckin’ A!
This just makes the two times the tracking devices are dealt with all the more grating, like Oh, now the rebels remember to do that?!? There’s even one case where the devices are dealt with but it’s too late. Seriously, disabling the tracking once they get to the meeting place is just stupid because they didn’t disable it on the way there. FFS, so The Party knows they were in a location they weren’t supposed to be and then the rebels all have a team meeting in the same spot like it’s no big deal?? Uh, huh. That doesn’t work, that just makes all parties involved look stupid.
Sometimes this issue is turned around with a big twist of the government coming raining down on the rebels parade because “HAHA we tracked you back to your hideout!”. This tactic isn’t used in The Undesirable. This tactic doesn’t even make sense given other factors in The Undesirable. For instance, there’s a death warrant out on Charlotte! Even members of their own party are out to kill her and quick.
Motherfucking Charlotte:
I hated Charlotte. Everything about her bugs the fuck out of me. She hates her slutty slut (and of course) drunk mother. (God, I am SO tired of this trope.) She’s been eyeing and crushing on a hot older guy from school who is now in The Homeland working for The Party. She was always alone during school, got teased because of what her mother did, never knew her father and is of course hot though she never thinks of herself that way and no one else noticed. She worries about everything, doesn’t buy into The Party line and takes walks at night when she’s not supposed to.
We’re told she had a tough time growing up. All we get is told how she stayed alone in school “because she had too much to do” (like what?) and she tells us the kids made fun of her because of what her mother did. That’s it. That inspires a “That sucks” comment from me but not much else. After all, if I say “I was teased because of my hair growing up” that’s the response you get because there isn’t enough information. What is occasionally? What is really vicious? When it start? When did it end? Why did they make fun of your hair? Where you just teased or bullied? Attacked? Harassed? Shunned? The rare occasionally remark about your hair being ugly doesn’t really bring forth a lot of sympathy because everyone gets teased, unless it’s for racist reasons (i.e. what a lot of black girls growing up have to deal with). But being bullied for being gay? That means something far more to people today and brings up all kinds of terrible examples. So why the fuck do I care that Charlotte got teased when everything is left so vaguely? Give me a memory or flash back so I can have something to work with here. Telling me the other kids didn’t let Charlotte forget what her mother did for an occupation makes me angry at the little snots and angry at Charlotte because she engages in the same slut shaming. Without actually being shown the damage and pain Charlotte went through I really couldn’t give a fuckless.
Her mother being a drunken whore and former stripper was apparently Charlotte’s big hardship given how much it’s harped on. Look, my father was an alcoholic. When I first started reading young adult as a young teen reading realistic fiction with alcoholic parents helped me through a lot of things. However, now it’s like every YA book has terrible parents in one way or another and alcoholic is often used. Now I’m just tired of it being pulled out as convenience, an easy out. It is hard having an alcoholic parent but again just being told “My mom is a drunk” in a book isn’t enough information. Show me This is one of the few places where there are scenes with Charlotte dealing with it - all three of them Charlotte is angry at her mother because Charlotte is the one bearing the responsibility to try and get her functional. I’ve actually done that. There’s more to having an alcoholic parent than this. The only purpose Charlotte’s mother has in the book is being the fallen-now-ugly-used-to-be-attractive-attention-seeking-whore. I HATE that trope with a passion. My mother was a drug addict for years as well, so I’ve gone through this as a daughter with her mother. You’d think I of all people would be able to relate but I can’t.
At 17 I was past the stage Charlotte was going through and far more mature than her. Now I know my experience isn’t universal and they are plenty of people that only have anger/frustration for their addicted parents but coupled with the slut shaming, I’m actually far more sympathetic, understanding and caring towards Charlotte’s mother. Usually with a parent like this you have to grow up quick but I didn’t see that in Charlotte. For instance, usually you would have to learn to cook or clean on your own early than your peers. I have my own bad memories of being teased for having dirty clothes, trying to do laundry the first time, panicking trying to clean/hide the mess before my father found out, and finally figuring out to do it but still never being able to do it as well as my friend’s mom so I still stood out in a bad way. Then later growing up never being able to talk about it unless I lie with people (like telling funny ‘first’ stories ) because my experience is so different than other people’s experience and really sad.
So I get flustered, awkward and silent, which kills the fun mood or I tell the truth and get pity and silence. That’s a huge wall when trying to meet people or make friends. (All that I described actually happened.) There’s dozens of other memories I have that fit the same bill. There wasn’t anything here like that described. The inclusion of alcoholism in The Undesirable just doesn’t come off feeling authentic or meaningful. It’s just there and I don’t think it was executed well at all. It feel like it’s following the trends (dystopian, alcoholic mother, young woman the key to changing it all, etc.) and doing it badly. We get nothing on what it was actually like growing up for her and only know what Charlotte does now. She whined. She complained. She threw fits. She went to work. She had sex. She might as well have been 15 or 16. (Most kids I knew growing up at odd jobs younger than that and regular jobs at that age.) That’s how she came off to me. There’s other characters in other books younger than Charlotte that come off more grown up and mature than her. I just don’t see what other people see in her.
After Charlotte finds out about her biological father she’s STILL angry at her mother for not telling her, which is extremely stupid considering who her father is. Well, duh Charlotte, your mother was trying to protect you! That possibility doesn’t even cross her mind. Like she would’ve been able to keep quiet and handle knowing which bastard was your father? Pffffffft. She can’t even do it now at 18, let alone when she was younger. Fuck. Being mature would’ve help Charlotte a lot. Instead she came off to me as a snotty, sniveling little brat in every aspect. I still wish she’d got taken care of by The Party.
The Insta-love Stupidity
She’s beautiful. He’s beautiful. They’ve never talked before though have stared at each other from afar. All of a sudden, he tells her things that could get him and his family killed because *bam* love it is. She’s never been loved before and is so needy, desperate and attention starved *bam* love it is. She risks everything, EVERYTHING, including far more lives and society as a whole to go save one boy while jeopardizing The Resistance when she doesn’t even know if, 1. he’s still alive, 2. he cares for her still, 3. that he still believes in the party and 4. if he’ll believe her and join the resistance. Considering how he’s already in The Party and a firm believer, this just makes the whole thing monumentally stupid. The adults risking their lives and their families do try to be sensible and know this is stupid but they help her do it anyways.
These are not just regular low joes either, these are the decision makers in The Resistance helping her do this. Because she threw a fit like a toddler and was all “I won’t help you until we rescue him. All of you, your families and society at large be damned. I’m in love and 18 so I’m apparently really shallow, irresponsible and impulsive.” I don’t buy this because I couldn’t stand Charlotte, because I don’t care about their ‘love’, found it incredibly dull and predictable.
Yes, insta-love has been around far, far longer than the term insta-love. Yes, I’m sure there’s classics and even some recent stories you and I could name which includes insta-love that worked. Even me, an insta-love hater can name a few because when it’s done right, it does work. It relies on people seeing the connection between the two and getting it. It helps when the lovers don’t go off the deep end of stupidity like they are trying to win a Darwin award. I get instant attraction and that connection after just a date or two but immediately jumping into risking EVERYTHING for someone you’ve barely started seeing? That I don’t get. That’s just completely and utterly stupid to me.
I fucking HATE trying to pass it off as this noble sacrifice yourself and others for forever love. Now, I get how much this world sucks in The Undesirable and how people cling to the little things. It ups the ante on everything but this need to confess everlasting love after, what, 3 conversations and a kiss? I find that terribly condescending towards young adults, this assumption their relationships are so shallow, stupid and quick. Seriously, you’re 18/19 let’s get real. I’d totally prefer and wouldn’t be irritated if it went like this, “This life sucks. You’re pretty. Let’s find happiness together. Let’s fuck.” Why wrap it up in this proclaiming true love and devotion spiel? Having sex is okay, really! Even with people you aren’t madly in love with and I don’t think that’s a bad thing to portray. Oh no, but Charlotte’s mom is a nasty slut so of course it has to feel like love otherwise Charlotte won’t put out and since this is New Adult it’s got to have a sex scene. /sarcasm.
And it wasn’t even a good sex scene.