winterlily
Written on Mar 30, 2020
There are many ways I could describe this book and my thoughts about it. I would say that the best possible way would be "beautifully sad and achingly intense". It wasn't a simple time in history, nor was it a simple affair that Violet Trefusis and Vita Sackville-West were part of together. They weren't simple people, though perhaps one could be forgiven for thinking so, after hearing — or reading — Violet's desperate pleas to run away, to see each other, and quite plainly, to be loved. Perhaps, you could argue that it gets tiresome reading her letters discuss the same topics over and over again, pleading for love, asking for the same something.
The something that never ended up happening. And that's really what it all came down to in the end, it didn't happen. The love that Violet had for Vita may have been reciprocated, but Vita didn't want the events to occur in the same way that Violet did.
But it's not boringly simple at all, it's the human desire for belonging, however terribly cliche it is. And Violet writes these letters with such passion that it's practically impossible not to fall headfirst into her world, into what little you can see of the two women. They're beautifully written letters, and while yes, there was a good deal of translation, and many footnotes besides, the letters themselves are stunning and made more so by the fact that Violet does just slip into different languages — hence the need for translations. There's nothing insincere about what Violet writes. There's nothing that could ever imply that Violet wasn't grateful for whatever Vita was giving her, which is what makes it so often bittersweet. There's so much love that Violet writes into her letters, so much care and a willingness to (perhaps dangerously) do anything for Vita, do anything for them to be together.
It's not pathetic as such, Violet's love, because Vita did seem to love her. And we cannot really judge Vita on her love due to the fact that we only have Violet's letters to Vita, none the other way, as Denys Trefusis — the man Violet was forced to marry by her mother — destroyed them in a fit of rage, something not uncommon for him. A frustratingly terrible man, I found him, while I almost began with sympathy due to his possibly loving Violet all that was soon eradicated as it was made clear that he had many (as the footnotes say) female lovers aside from Violet. But main to the two main ladies.
It seems as if Violet's love becomes increasingly one-sided as time goes on, though I don't know how true that it, considering we can't see Vita's side of the story. But it is certainly Vita that ends the relationship, rather than Violet.
All in all, I found it a stunning recount of history. Delighted with Violet's letters and the pieces of her novel she included — truly, it's a wonderfully interesting piece of writing she was working on, though she seemed intent on Vita "fixing" it, whether because Vita was genuinely a better writer or simply self-doubt combined with the idealisation of Vita, I do not know. Beautiful letters filled to the brim with emotions sometimes so strong particularly in her dark moods, there are mentions of suicide that I had to take a moment to breathe before beginning to read again.
Well worth the read on all accounts.