Scars

by Cheryl Rainfield

Fifteen-year-old Kendra, a budding artist, has not felt safe since she began to recall devastating memories of childhood sexual abuse, especially since she cannot remember her abuser's identity, and she copes with the pressure by cutting herself.

• ISBN10: 1934813575
• ISBN13: 9781934813577
• Publish Date: 1 May 2011 (first published 1 March 2010)
• Publish Status: Active
• Publish Country: GB
• Imprint: West Side Books
• Format: Paperback (US Trade)
• Pages: 248
• Language: English

Reviews

[Angie]

4.5★

Scars is super intense, which you can probably tell from the description. On the first page, we're with Kendra during one of her therapy sessions. She was sexually abused for several years as a child, but it wasn't until six months ago that the memories emerged. She can see everything except for the face of the man who did these things to her, and to make matters worse, he's been following her. Aside from talking to her therapist in a safe space, the only way she knows how to deal with the onslaught of memories is to cut.

Scars doesn't pull any punches. Kendra's cutting is described in detail: what it looks like, what she feels or doesn't feel, how she hides it. There's flashbacks of her abuse, which are heart-wrenching and disturbing. Then there's her paintings, which depict her feelings in dark tones that worry her mother. Although her mother's worry is more because those kind of paintings don't sell, and not over what's going on with her daughter. The mother-daughter relationship also has a strong focus, because Kendra doesn't feel like she can talk to her mother about what's going on with her without being criticized or having her mother turn it into being about her her. Or getting the whole "don't worry your father, don't make him look bad" speech. Horrible.

While Scars is by no means a light or easy read, it's not all darkness. There is a very sweet romance between Kendra and the one person her age who she feels gets her. Meghan's life isn't all hugs and happiness either. She puts on this tough girl act, but Kendra sees her underneath that. Meghan also doesn't judge Kendra or push her to share more than she's ready for. Likewise, Kendra doesn't push Meghan about her home life although she makes it clear that she's there for her despite her own problems. They're just very sweet together.

Of course, one of the main plot points is who abused Kendra. It's frustrating for her to be able to remember everything but his face, so everywhere she looks it could be him. I did figure out who it was early on, but that didn't change my reaction when it all came out. It really is sickening that he could do this to her, and his explanation...just ugh. I felt so sick.

Scars is a very intense read. The only reason I didn't give it a full five stars was because I felt like it was too short and like some things were rushed. There is a lot of detail and depth here, but it felt rushed at the end. It was resolved too quickly and suddenly, even though Kendra has been dealing with this for months. I guess I just wanted more of Kendra's story, perhaps more of what happened afterward. Especially with her relationship with her mom, because as much as I hated that woman, I believed her totally off responses and hope she was able to put herself aside to really see her daughter.

Read more of my reviews at Pinkindle Reads & Reviews.

[elvinagb]

It's hard to imagine that someone could have the kind of pain in their lives that would cause them to turn in on themselves and self abuse. Kendra's story is gripping and painful and Rainfield makes us feel each cut that Kendra gives herself. I can almost feel the relief that she gets each time she uses the utility knife on herself. Kendra is slowly healing but in doing so she must face her most painful memories and look for answers to what happened to her in the past.
The authors notes at the end made the story more personal and memorable. She has also included a lot of resources to help anyone who does self abuse or if you know of someone who does.