lessthelonely
Written on Aug 20, 2021
For starters, I read this one sole nerve-wracking seating. If you want to know how you know a book is close to 5 stars or exactly in that tier of quality, I'll give you the signs I look for: sweating profusely, absolute anger at what's happening, unwillingness to stop reading it, having too much personal investment and being able to draw concrete parallels between the book and yourself.
It sounds highly stressful, and it kind of is, but it's not really a stress that incapacitates me - as in, having to take a break, which I never do unless I have to, in fact, stop reading to go do something else. I remember stumbling upon this book on Goodreads and being instantly transfixed by the concept, not only because it was highly intriguing, but because I had thought of a similar concept for an original story myself! This only makes me want to write it more, as I now know both would be very different.
Anyways... This book is easy to read but kind of hard to digest - it's heavy and infuriating in that way that makes you want to make things different immediately. Change absolutely everything that's happening, offing some characters and having a big ass talk with others. It's unforgiving in its portrayal of conflicts between sexuality and religion and absolutely BRUTAL (aka even more unforgiving) in its portrayal of abuse. You'll always think it's not going there, yet it always goes, because that is the point of it. It's one of those cases where, unfortunately, being brutal is realistic.
The book definitely reads as a sort of mystery, even the cold opening tells you that this book is about what happened then. It plays its cards right by creating situations where characters are allowed to tell you: There's more to it than what you've seen, and then allowing them to make you wait for the reveals, which most usually are either shocking, terrifying, or both. This book got gasps and audible reactions out of me because of that.
However, I do need to speak, even if in lighter and non-spoilery terms, about a specific ending, a tying of a certain arc within the story pertaining to two main characters: I hated it not really because it wasn't what I wanted (which it wasn't) but because I know it's what's best after everything. It hurt me even more because of that, but I wouldn't say it's anything but satisfying. It does everything right: clean setup, gasp-worthy reveals with raw character moments and interactions and a satisfying finale. What more could you want from a book?
Do yourself a favor and read this book. If you react to it like I did, it'll be a quick one!
