sleepseeker
Written on Feb 27, 2019
It was hard to tell in the beginning of the chapter who that chapter was focusing on. Sometimes I would be reading the next page before I get their name or some kind of info that point to who's internal thoughts was going on. The chapters were labeled by numbers, however I think it would help if they were the character's name. I've seen many authors do this and it helps especially when it switches over to a new person.
The other problem I had is the the writing style and sometimes I felt they through in facts and little history bits in places where I felt it broke the pace of the scene. I wondered why did this need to be through in here now. Let me give an example that happened early on in the story. The main character is spotted some trouble and goes to help his friend. The foe moves to strike the main character and what happens next is there is a break in the action scene. Here's a literal quote from the book, "Straight at my face. Let's stop right here for a second" What happens next is a literal paragraph on the history of his father's company describe why he has better reflexes than other people. Then it jumps right back into the scene where he slidesteps the punch and knocks the foe out.
It baffles me why the decision was made to interrupt a fight scene to give a history lesson and why it couldn't be done at the end of the fight or some other time. The readers could have picked up on the fact that the main character is faster than others. There are times it's better to show not tell in a story.
I wanted to like this book and I think that if some writing style choices were cleaned up, that this might be a book I would like. But it was hard for me to finish and I gave up.
I won this book.