You Don't Really Know Me: Why Mothers and Daughters Fight and How Both Can Win

by Terri Apter

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Book cover for You Don't Really Know Me

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Mothers and teenage daughters argue more than any other child-parent pair—on average every two-and-a-half days. These quarrels, Terri Apter shows, are attempts to negotiate changes in a relationship that is valued by both mothers and daughters. A daughter often feels her mother doesn't know or understand her, and by fighting hopes to force her mother into a new awareness of who she really is, how she has changed, and what she is now capable of doing and understanding. But mothers often misinterpret their daughter's outbursts as signs of rejection, and they may pull back feeling hurt and confused. Through case studies and conversations between mothers and daughters, Apter shows mothers how to interpret the meanings behind a daughter's angry words and how to emerge from arguments with a new closeness.

  • ISBN10 0393327108
  • ISBN13 9780393327106
  • Publish Date 2 August 2005
  • Publish Status Active
  • Out of Print 4 June 2017
  • Publish Country US
  • Imprint WW Norton & Co
  • Format Paperback
  • Pages 290
  • Language English