Tony Reeves

Sometimes doing a good job at work is like wetting your pants in a dark suit - you get a warm feeling, but nobody else notices.

Everybody brings joy to this office... some when they enter, some when they exit.

Some people work harder at getting the office temperature right than they do at their actual job.

I need to lower the standard I set for myself to match the level of competency of some of the f***tards I work with.

Leaving the office for lunch is the new vacation day.

Dear Co-worker, Yes, please continue to talk incessantly even though I'm doing everything I can to avoid making eye contact with you.

We acknowledge that there is no 'I' in team, but there is definitely a 'U' in cunt.

The only significant difference between work and hell is probably that I would like more people in Hell.

Always remember that the toes you step on today could be attached to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.

You don't have to be crazy to work here. We'll train you.

Pride, commitment, and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.

Ever notice that those who whine the loudest are usually the ones who contributes the least?

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

Congratulations on getting promoted to the job you're already doing.

I'm going to miss having you around to blame for the quality of my work.

I can barely wait to take credit for your great ideas.

I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen.

The reward for good work is more work.

I think I heard you say, 'Blah, blah blah, blah". Is that correct?

I actively avoid office politics by hating everybody equally.

The mountain of paperwork on my desk makes me envy the trees that died to produce it.

Please submit your ideas to me today so I can submit them as my own tomorrow.

Please try to schedule meetings around my job interviews.

Sometimes I have my headphones in at work with nothing playing so I don't have to interact with chatty co-workers.