The Summer I Wasn't Me

by Jessica Verdi

• ISBN10: 1306513596
• ISBN13: 9781306513593
• Publish Date: 1 January 2014
• Publish Status: Active
• Out of Print: 25 February 2015
• Publish Country: US
• Imprint: Sourcebooks Fire
• Format: eBook
• Pages: 351
• Language: English

Reviews

[adarkershadeofrosie]

Thank you NetGalley for lending me a copy of this book in exchange for a review!

DISLIKED: This book made me ANGRY. Lexi submits herself into a de-gayifying camp...willingly! It was really hard to wrap my head around this. Why would you want to change yourself when there's really nothing wrong with you?!? • Very cringe-worthy.

LIKED: And then, it got better. Lexi meets someone who ultimately may change her mind for good. The book had likeable characters. Some of the counselors were for sure on my bad side. But Lexi was a great character, despite her misleading thoughts that you can change your sexuality. • Lexi's was an interesting perspective: a view from someone who wants to change the way they are, rather than denying it from every angle.

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[Jo]

Originally posted on Once Upon a Bookcase.

I was so intrigued by The Summer I Wasn't Me when I first heard about it, the second book I'd heard of about a place that "turns" you straight. As gripped as I was, I liked it, but I didn't love it.

After the death of her father, Lexi's mother fell apart, and is struggling to get past her grief. When she discovers that Lexi is a lesbian, she can't handle it. With her mum being all she has left, she agrees to go to the New Horizons "degayifying" summer camp, full of hope that the camp will make her straight, make her someone her mum will love and be proud of. But at New Horizons, Lexi meets Carolyn, and is immediately attracted to her. Lexi tries so hard to believe what New Horizons teaches and make it work for her, but her feelings for Carolyn steadily grow. Should she go after what she wants, or try to save her relationship with her mum?

The story itself would be pretty awesome, if it wasn't for Lexi seeming much younger than 17. The way she acts and thinks seem more like a 13/14-year-old, in my opinion, and it just didn't feel true to her, with other aspects of who she was. Her relationship with Carolyn wasn't very believable to me, either. I just didn't feel it. "Love" is a really big word to use, and it just wasn't there for me. I don't mean there needs to be an epic love story, but it felt like a crush. More infatuation than love. There was a lot of eye-rolling on my part. This aside, The Summer I Wasn't Me was a really great story!

Lexi really doesn't want to lose her mother. She desperately wants to make it work at New Horizons, because her mother is all she has left. She wants, needs her mother to go back to who she used to be before her father died, and believes if she doesn't really give this a good shot, there's no way her mum will be able to handle it. Despite initial disagreements and doubts with some of the things she's told and sees at New Horizons, she decides to give everything a go. It worked for Mr Martin, and some of those counselors right? Kaylee, the young, cool counselor who was "cured" of her SSA isn't a stepford-wife, is she? She's straight, and normal, and still perfectly herself. That's what Lexi wants, and what she strives so hard for, for her mother. But her feelings for Carolyn complicate it all.

New Horizons is so screwed up. It's a highly religious camp that believes that people choose to be gay, that homosexuality is a symptom of having been corrupted by someone or something, a "Father Wound", and that teaching the campers what their appropriate gender roles should be, along with various other activities, will give them the tools to fight their SSA - Same Sex Attraction - every day. And it works. Because Mr Martin, the founder, was cured himself. As are some of the counselors. Oh my god, this place! I was prepared to be angry, but not to the level in which I was. Appropriate gender roles, my backside! The idea that being stereotypically male or female has any impact on sexuality is absolutely ridiculous! Making the boys play sports, and not allowing the girls to do anything but watch. Teaching the girls how to do laundry and knit, and how to raise children! Made me so, so angry! And the fact that people fully believe this is right, this is going to "fix" these teens, that the counselors genuinely feel they are actually helping dumbfounds me. And things only get worse. Much, much worse. It's so highly disturbing and twisted. Absolutely disgusting!

The Summer I Wasn't Me, despite my issues with Lexi, is a gripping read. I had to know what vile methods of "degayifying", as Lexi calls it, would be dished out next, what ridiculous brainwashing crap was going to be fed to the campers. It's such a great novel at showing just how wrong and ridiculous this kind of thing is, especially as a fair number of the main characters actually want this to work for them. Thank god for Matthew, a friend Lexi makes, who is absolutely comfortable with his sexuality and thinks the whole thing is as twisted and wrong as I do.

It's a seriously important novel, and one I would recommend reading for having your eyes opened to this kind of thing. It's much more brutal than anything that happens in The Miseducation of Cameron Post by E. M. Danforth. A really good story!

Thank you to Soucebooks Fire via NetGalley for the eProof.

[ellieroth]

Publicado Originalmente: El Extraño Gato del Cuento

Mi nivel de expectación por este libro me sorprendió antes de empezarlo a leer, no solo quería leerlo, necesitaba leerlo. Encontrar libros LGBT es muy complicado y en Young Adult aún más, se “cuida” mucho al adolescente (o jóvenes en general) que no lean este tipo de libro, hasta se vetan, ahora último no mucho, pero si hubo un tiempo dónde libros con protagonistas homosexuales eran un escándalo y eran del diablo. Y como me gusta molestar, decidí leer este libro (?)

Ahora que terminé el libro voy a decirles que no entiendo la portada. En serio, sé que es una cosa que no les interesa en lo más mínimo, pero me he quedado mirando la portada un buen rato, luego de terminar el libro, y sigo sin entenderla. Has ganado esta vez, diseñador de portadas, has ganado esta vez.

La única referencia que tenía del libro era lo LGBT, suficiente para emocionarme y vomitar arcoíris como cualquier gato que se respete, pero antes de empezar a leerlo hojee muy por encima la sinopsis, y la verdad es que me asusté un poco. ¿Por qué? Bueno, el libro trata sobre un campamento de de-gayifying (no puedo ni pronunciarlo en inglés no me pidan que lo traduzca, pero es algo así como “desgayficar”) y las pocas experiencias que he tenido con este tema han sido bastante complicados de llevar, si han visto Criminal Minds hay un capítulo con estos campamentos, entonces me veía un libro quizá no para todo el mundo.


He disfrutado mucho la lectura, los personajes me han encantado, sobre todo Matthew, todos deberíamos tener un Matthew en nuestras vidas, en serio, él se robó mi corazón en todo el libro. La historia de amor es tan bonita, pasan todas las etapas desde el rechazo, la negación y el embelesamiento en el otro de una manera bastante entretenida.

Sé que esperan el pero, y aquí viene. Esta es la cosa, no quiero decir que por tener personajes homosexuales el libro deba darte el ultra mega mensaje, no, es solo que hay temas en el transcurso de la historia que me hicieron pensar el “¿qué haría yo si me pasará esto a mí o alguien que conozco?” Es que es fácil como lector o tercero pensar en lo que supuestamente haríamos, sobre como seríamos héroes en nuestra imaginación. Les digo esto porque hubo muchas veces que Lexi me pareció demasiado pasiva sobre cosas que pasaban a su alrededor, quiero creer que yo sería más de ¿armas tomar? No sé si se dice así, pero no encuentro la frase que quiero. Eso fue lo que no me convenció de la historia, me gustan las protagonistas que son decididas, de las que mueren luchando, completamente diferentes a mí, quiero decir.

En general, disfruté un montón la lectura de The Summer I Wasn’t Me, ligero, un tanto cliché debo agregar, con un bonito mensaje, no entendí la portada (diseñadores que te hacen pensar ¬¬). Y de verdad, de verdad me gustaría que en algún momento lo publiquen en español, no todos los libros LGBT deben ser los mega dramones.

Reseña completa: El Extraño Gato del Cuento

[Angie]

I received an ARC through NetGalley.

4.5★

I loved The Summer I Wasn't Me! It was disturbing, horrifying, fun, sweet, and kind of sad. It definitely played out differently than I thought it would. Lexi is on her way to a degayifying camp...by choice! She's doing it for her mom, because she's been caught in a deep depression since her husband died, and finding out Lexi was gay was kind of the final blow. But she's also doing in part to get over Zoe, the girl who broke her heart. She's not sure if the therapy will work, but she's willing to give it her all. Then she meets Carolyn.

New Horizons, the camp which promises to pray the gay away, is absolutely horrific. I had no idea what goes on inside these types of places, so I was shocked. We get to witness a lot of the so-called therapy sessions, and each one was more disturbing than the last. The camp director, Jeremiah Martin, is so good at twisting what the campers say in order to serve his purpose. He's also a master at fishing for those little details that can be used to justified his means. He was just awful and his methods made me extremely uncomfortable.

The Summer I Wasn't Me was clearly anti these type of establishments, but I did find it interesting how the author included characters (including the MC for a time) who legitimately believed in the power of the camp and wanted to change. They varied in reasons, but they were all understandable. While I definitely think these programs are in the wrong, I can see why they exist and people flock to them. I just wish we lived in a world where young people didn't need to feel that way about themselves.

There was one thing that kept me from rounding my rating up. At around 3/4 in something happens (I won't say what). It was believable and I had my suspicions, but I kind of think it took away from Lexi's story and the overall message of the book. It seemed thrown in for a big shock (although it wasn't, since I suspect this to happen in real life), so it had the opposite effect on me. I thought the story was strong and interesting enough without it.

Like I said, I loved The Summer I Wasn't Me. It tackled a subject that I had never read about before, and starred a lesbian protagonist which I haven't seen enough of in YA fiction. There's also a really cute romance, and some sweet family revelations. I just really, really enjoyed it.

Read more of my reviews at Pinkindle Reads & Reviews.

[Suz @ Bookish Revelations]

Beautifully written and full of so many wonderful emotional feels, this is a gorgeous and compelling inspirational novel that will move readers beyond the telling.

[Ashley]

Nose Graze — Book reviews & blogging tips

4.5 Stars

I'm still trying to fully absorb this book. Normally I write my reviews immediately after I finish reading, but not with The Summer I Wasn't Me. This book was so powerful, so intense, so horrifying, that I had to sit and absorb it all before I could put some words together. And I still don't feel like I'm ready to do that, but I had to get started, so here we go!

The Summer I Wasn't Me is a curious book, because there are certain elements of it that I hated, but you're meant to hate them, so that didn't make me hate the book. The story is all about Lexi going to a camp to learn how to not be gay. That's absurd, right? Totally ridiculous! The camp is one of the most disgusting and terrible things I've ever read about.. which is the intent. Some of the things that go on there will shock you.

New Horizons isn't all about turning gays straight. It's also about laying out gender roles and ensuring that people stick within those roles. So men play sports and fix things around the house, whereas women cook, do laundry, and wear pink feminine clothing.

"What is the role of a woman?" she asks.
"The role of a woman is exactly the same as anyone else's," I say with a shrug. "To live and learn and love and be happy."
The counselor just clears her throat and repeats her quesetion. "What is the role of a woman?"
Clearly this isn't a very feminist bunch. I sigh and repeat my last answer, since that seemed to work last time. "To have children."

The camp had the balls to tell Lexi that the reason she's gay is because her parents set a bad example. Her father acted like her friend instead of the disciplinary figure of the household, and that's unacceptable. Her mother wore casual clothes and worked out of the home, and that's unacceptable. Her parents set bad examples and caused Lexi to misinterpret gender roles, which is why she's now gay. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL! It was so infuriating! And the parts that come after... so many devastating feels.

"The only reason I'm even at New Horizons is to fix my family. And now Mr. Martin is saying that for the de-gayifying to work, I have to reject everything that my family was and is. So what, then, is the point of all this?"

I think this is the reason why the book is so hard to "review". This book is so sad, frustrating, aggravating, and horrifying, but not in the bad "I hate this book" kind of way. It's all those things in the "powerful" kind of way; the way that will shock and stun you as you read it. But that kind of feeling and reaction cannot possibly be put into words! It has to be experienced for yourself.

The best part of this book came as a surprise to me. At first, Lexi was open to the idea of "de-gaying". Initially, I was mad. I wanted Lexi to be firmly against this because the whole idea is just absurd! But she tried to go in with an open mind. But I think that ended up making the story even more powerful. She was able to discover for herself how ridiculous and impossible it was, and we got to be with her for the journey.

But that was one of the reasons I loved Matthew. He filled the "rebel against the idea of the camp" role that I needed. So although Lexi wasn't exactly rebelling, Matthew was, and that satisfied me. He was also one of my favourite characters just because of how damn fun and sweet he was!

The love story in The Summer I Wasn't Me was sooo sweet! It was soft and tender and totally slow-brewing. It was everything I hoped it would be, and it completely captured my heart! I was so eager and giddy, and maybe the "forbidden" aspect made it even more fun!

If I had one criticism, it would be that I wish the end was a tad more drawn out. There are some intense things that happen towards the end, and it's implied that people will face the consequences of their actions, but we never actually get to see it first hand. I think I would have been a bit more satisfied if I actually got to see those consequences for myself. I wanted to see the handcuffs slapped on that Mr. Martin bastard!

But this book will make you FEEL. It may even make you sob uncontrollably. But most importantly, I think it will shock you. It will shock you into wondering if the "de-gaying" camps that exist are truly like this.. and if they are, it will make you want to do something about it. Because holy shit, it'd DISGUSTING! It will anger you to no end! And I love that The Summer I Wasn't Me pulled all these crazy emotions out of me. It made me love and hate and get pissed and want to cry happy tears! ALL OF THE EMOTIONS HAPPENED!

Jessica Verdi rocked my world again with this one. She's definitely on my auto-buy list.