Handcuffs, Truncheon and a Polyester Thong

by Gina Kirkham

Meet Mavis Upton. As mummy to 7-year old Ella, surrogate to far too many pets and with a failed marriage under her belt, Mavis knows she needs to make some life-changing decisions. It's time to strike out into the world, to stand on her own two feet ... to pursue a lifelong ambition to become a Police Officer. I mean, what could go wrong? Supported by her quirky, malapropism-suffering mum, Mavis throws herself headlong into a world of uncertainty, self-discovery, fearless escapades, laughter and extra-large knickers. And using her newly discovered investigative skills, she reluctantly embarks on a search to find her errant dad who was last seen years before, making off with her mum's much needed coupon for a fabulous foam cup bra all the way from America. Follow Mavis as she tackles everything life can throw at her, and revel in Gina Kirkham's humorous, poignant and moving story of an everyday girl who one day followed a dream.

• ISBN10: 191133171X
• ISBN13: 9781911331711
• Publish Date: 18 May 2017
• Publish Status: Active
• Out of Print: 7 April 2021
• Publish Country: GB
• Imprint: Urbane Publications
• Format: Paperback (UK Trade)
• Pages: 320
• Language: English

Reviews

[zooloo1983]

I adore this book by Gina Kirkham about her alter ego, the queen of disasters Mavis Upton. This book is part fiction and a lot autobiography and even more laugh out loud hilarious, I mean how did Mavis actually survive police school and after beats me, with a fire, fake Reebok classics and her drunken antics to boot. 

Mavis, a thirty-something single mum decides one day after an epiphany to join the police force. Her mum looks after her daughter Ella as she drives to the unknown and heads off on the motorway where she thinks everyone is being nice and waving hello to her as she drives at a nice comfortable 45 mph....on the motorway. The antics in the police school had me laughing out loud and shaking my head in constant amusement. How the hell did she pass..but she did yay! 

Mavis is fab, and I completely adored her from the get-go. She is down to earth, a bit naive at times and a complete clutz, something which I can relate to, she is a woman after my own heart! Her life as much as you shouldn’t laugh is bloody funny when you read about the different callouts she gets. One I loved (because it was just so funny) was her treading in dog poo into an expensive house and using the ugly looking rug to wipe her boot on..only to find out it was the cat, kind of lets you know where this is going. The phasing by the boys in the force is hilarious, and I loved how the slang faark came about. I think my face hurts as I sat there like the Cheshire cat reading this book.

When we got to a sad part of the story, I did have a few tears as it brought back a few emotions for me (especially this time of year for me). It was all handled in a beautiful way. I won’t say anything as I don’t want to ruin it. The ending is kind of obvious, only because I thought it could only happen to Mavis.

Before reading this book, I had the absolute pleasure and honour of speaking to Gina a little bit on twitter as she kindly sent me this book so I could read it before I read the second. I was and still am completely honoured and touched she sent this to me, and it just cements Mavis and Gina in my heart a bit more.

I really can not convey how much I truly did love this book, it had a bit of everything in it, laughter, tears, crime, romance and coping generally at life (or drowning). Each chapter in the book is short and it never feels like a chore reading this book. I couldn't wait to find out what had happened on a different day in Mavis' life, and there was always something going on. 

It is amazing knowing I have book 2 to read as I’m in the tour for it, but on twitter to have it casually dropped in that Gina is working on book 3 well this has made my day. I am not really for Mavis to leave my life, so I am off to do my happy dance...without my dress tucked in my knickers with my bum hanging out...I will leave that to Mavis.