27 books
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee
Today was a one star shit parade!
I'm the kind of dirty you can't wash off
So long sinners
I'm not needy I'm wanty
Take life one panic attack at a time
I'm not good at advice can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Lord, give me the strenght to tolerate this fake bitch
Got me some wine bitches love wine
I was just sitting here over thinking the joy out of everything
As long as everything is exactly the way I want. I'm totally flexible
I don't want to brag but I'm pretty mediocre at housekeeping
Of course I'm going to hell I own the place
Thank you humidyty I always wanted to be a Lion
Don't make me flip my bitch switch
People say I have a bad attitude. I say fuck 'em!
If momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy
If it's the thought that counts, I should probably be in jail
I'm a lady, but "fuck that shit" is still a perfectly acceptable substitute for the word no
It's not spying if you're holding a dust rag
We all have that one smart ass friend. Oh wait that's me!
Crippling anxiety is my cardio
Me
Coffee keeps me busy until. It's time to be drunk